there was so much potential to do better!!! what a waste.

i guess this is life.

live and learn!

i want to sleep

i can’t decide which i like better….school or work? hahaha i keep changing my mind…grass is always greener on the other side. haha

2 part time jobs, 2 classes. midterms every week.

welcome to the rest of my summer.

summer timeeee

i can’t believe how quickly time is going by. it’s already been over a month since summer break started for me, and so much has been happening. list time!

- living alone isn’t lonely at all!
- working full time is hard.
- working 1-10pm is hard.
- working 8 hours a day on my feet is painful.
- my calves are going to become huge
- retail pharmacy is such a high stress environment
- dealing with customers who think the world revolves around them SUCKS. (i’m gonna stop doing that when i complain at places. HAHA. it’s a very humbling experience and i’ve learned my lesson)
- customers yelling at me like it’s my fault SUCKS
- apologizing even when i don’t mean it is getting old
- learning about pills is cooooool
- getting to know my coworkers/bosses makes work fun
- some grandma’s and grandpa’s are SO CUTEEEE i <3 gentle old people
- sitting down for a 15 minute break is a glorious time, and a crucial factor in determining my mood for the next two hours
- flats for 8 hours are no good. comfy shoes with good support make my day 10x better.
- i’m very touched when people come visit me (thanks you guys!)
- my other job was 10 times less work for 1.5 times more the pay. i have to remind myself that i’m gaining experience from this job.
- i appreciate/admire anyone who works full time and is down to play after work when they have work the next day. i had no idea it was so hard to do. hahaah
- i got this weekend off to go to vbs, so now i must work 4th of july weekend. ………..yay

storytime:
- so when i first started working, i was so scared to be late that i was speed walking like crazy once i got off the bus. i was rushing so much that i passed by a grandpa in a car reaching over to open the door for his wife, who was struggling to get to the car with a grocery bag and a walker. i was so selfish and just passed by when i could’ve helped i still feel really bad about it. after all those good samaritan sermons…..
- so during my lunch break, i’ve been exploring eateries around the area (yay for good food ) i eat half of my meal for lunch, and end up eating the other half for dinner. once, i was heading home with my leftovers, when this guy outside my apartment asked me for them. i was really hungry – like REALLY hungry. and had no other food at home, so i lied and told him it was for my roommate, then went into my apartment and ate it. and it was goooood. hahaha then i felt guilty because i kept thinking, “what if he was more hungry than i was? what if he hadn’t eaten in a long time?”  hhahaha

i’m a terrible person who is tired a lot now. and likes to go home after work, sit on my couch and watch tv for a little bit then go to sleep early.  and i now really appreciate being a student. hahaahah

that is all! gnight

welcome to my crazy week

today. shane and shane. lieut bison. 24 hr starbucks.
wednesday. work/class 10-5. nap. all nighter.
thursday. 3 midterms (wtf O_O)
friday. 1 midterm. job training at longs. ficb picnic
saturday. study study study.
sunday. church. cm. photoshoot.
monday. 2 midterms. big c.

i will be running on coffee all week. please excuse the unhappy look on my face. this semester needs to end with a bang. a good one. wish me luck. no, pray for me. thanks.

but after monday. i’m FREEEEEEEEEEE . and i plan on making cookies. for real. yay!

please take my flyer

i remember when i first started flyering, i dreaded it. i hated the rejection. who likes rejection?! whether it’s for ficb or link, and even camp kesem for a little bit, no matter how great the cause is, some people just don’t care. but after 3 years of, i’m over that fear and hurt. i’ve learned to brush it off, but that doesn’t change the fact that there are many assholes who still piss me off. 

you run into lots of personalities when flyering.

the asshole – they’re the ones that always bite back with a smart remark. to which i say, “UGH. jackass.” in my head of course  sheesssh, just don’t take my flyer, no need to be rude about it. 

the “pretend to talk on the phone” person – these people see you wanting to approach them, so bust out their cellphones and pretend like they’re in a super deep conversation with no one. i approach them anyway. 

the “i’ll take every flyer” person – these people may be genuinely interested in everything, which is awesome. or, they’ve flyered to people before and know what rejection feels like so take it just to be nice, not read it, and throw it away at the next trash can. i’m not too fond of these people. 

the “let’s switch flyers” person – who flyers for another organization and just wants to get flyers out, therefore, asks to trade. my response usually is, “only if you really take the time to read this.” hahahaah

the “you can’t see my eyes behind these sunglasses therefore you don’t exist” person -yeah, you see me, don’t just walk on by me like i’m not there… this also includes the “i look straight past you and don’t hear a thing you’re saying” person. 

the “blatantly switch paths to avoid me” person – who sees me eyeing them, and turns 45-90 degrees in another direction to completely avoid me. sometimes, i laugh it off, sometimes i run after them. haha

the “i’ll take a flyer because we somehow know each other and it’d be rude to say no” person – haha i always feel bad asking these people to take flyers. 

and then my favorite,

the “i’m genuinely interested, let’s keep talking!” person – this person makes it all worth it. this person is pretty uncommon, but dude. the joy that comes from just having a good conversation with this person is enough to keep me flyering to all the other ones. 

and last but not least,

the “no thank you, flash a smile” person – i love these people too. you don’t have to share the same passion for my cause, i know different people are passionate about different things, duh, that’s normal. but when a person genuinely looks me in the eye, and simply says, “no thank you” and smiles and walks away, everything is okay. it really is the best way to turn down a flyer. take it from an experienced flyer-er, your response makes a difference to the flyer-er, and his/her mood. 

 

simply put. be nice.

growing up

it’s an interesting process. for example, i decided not to travel abroad this summer because i should figure out what i’m gonna do with my life first. so i decided to stay in berkeley this summer, finishing up prereqs for grad school and work (UGH. summer school, i know. UGH. but this is something i gotta figure out fast.)

also, for the first time ever, i went to the dentist by myself! hahaha i consider that a big step in becoming more independent. i went to this cute chinese grandpa dentist here in berkeley. (i don’t know why, but for some reason, i love grandpas!) he was so sweet! and he laughed when i said that it was the first time i’d been to a dentist without my mommy. haha

earlier this week, my apartment got to host link hq people! yay! it was such a refreshing reminder of why we do what we do. everytime i see them, i seriously get all ambitious for the cause and want to go abroad and help out.

point: as i get older, i struggle more and more with deciding between what i want to do and what i have to do. it’s a hard thing to deal with, and i know i can’t always get my way, but i’m learning.

p.s. i’m excited to get my wisdom teeth taken out this weekend. if you understood the current pain that i’m in, you’d understand my happiness in anticipating the day they’re out of my mouth!

old

it’s funny how sometimes, i think i’m super old. hahaha

yesterday, at work, i went through the supply cabinet in search of some rubber bands. I came across a bagful of maybe 200 or so. Every time i would pull on one, it would snap. Time is terrible for elasticity. My boss told me she brought over those rubber bands from her previous secretarial job in ‘82. 

dammnn. they’re so old. hahaah i spent 30 minutes sorting through that pile of rubber bands, separating crappy from useable. yes, this is the kind of stuff i do at work to pass the time.

my favorite thing to do after a midterm?

clean the apartment.

i always pull all nighters the night before midterms (habit since high school) so i should be tired. i should come home wanting to catch up on sleep. but the first thing i do is clean.

i can’t explain it. it’s so interesting how such an odd thing can make me happy.

tonight is all nighter #2. i’m functioning on 1 hour of sleep. holy moly! so delirious! so not wanting to study!

food is love

whether it’s homemade or bought, whether you’re having dinner at the table with family or out at a restaurant with friends. food is so wonderful in that way. it brings people together and that makes me happy.

<3

my cm kindergarten kids are adorable.

it’s amazing to see how much they’ve been learning, growing, and maturing since i first started teaching in september. for example, in the beginning, they were all so quiet and kept to themselves, fresh out of nursery. now, they’re crazy, hyper, losing teeth, and starting to participate in worship by doing the motions OMGGG i can’t help but smile thinking about them. each one of them is so precious!!

i’m so ashamed cuz a lot of the times, i don’t put in as much effort as i should when i prepare for lessons, but in those moments when they do understand what I’m trying to say, and they’re responsive, it’s amazing. God is so amazing and shows me all the time through these kids! so, i will now put forth my best effort in teaching those lessons. i know that it’s not about me teaching and that it’s God speaking to these kids and opening their hearts, but i don’t wanna use that as an excuse to slack off.

so this past weekend was teacher’s retreat, and it was amazing. it was awesome to spend time just CHILLIN with all the teachers. i’m so thankful for the many blessings that i’m able to experience because i’m a part of this family. sounds cheesy right? but i genuinely mean it. being a cm teacher has made a world of a difference for my college life.

the point is: get involved in church. it’s a great way to plug yourself in, get to know more people, grow your faith, build community outside of school. becoming a children’s ministry teacher has really changed  my experience at church and i really encourage everyone to check it out.

im so happy right now thinking about it!